Hazards of the Highway

New hazards made themselves known to me this week. It's a sobering thought to think that this could happen when I'm in the middle of two weeks in the wilderness and a hundred miles from civilization.

I lost a fight with a hamburger.

That leaves me in doubt about my chances should my foe ever be alive, or even uncooked. The resulting first round knock-out left me missing my front tooth.

To be fair, it isn't the first time that tooth has gone missing (not even discounting the seven-year-old loss). It started when I was seventeen. That summer of 1967, I was at Senior High Institute, the Methodist version of high school youth camp. The minister at one of the churches was a cool guy who had once been in the circus. He juggled, did acrobatics, and balanced on a balance board. If you aren't familiar with these death traps, take a look at this happy kid getting his act together.

That one from SSG/BSN was listed on Amazon for just $47.49, but is no longer available. See those little stops under each end of the board? Imagine they aren't there. And that round barrel in the middle? Make it about twice that size. And for good measure, let's shorten the board about a foot, too.

Now you have the makings for the catastrophe that was the minister saying, "You can do this. There's nothing to it." My ride on the balance board lasted approximately three-tenths of a second longer than my fight with the hamburger. That was the time it took to face-plant onto a cement floor and lose half my front tooth. So I've had a cap on that tooth for forty-six years. Apparently the tooth just gave up in the face of a ground beef foe.

My dentist was most solicitous over the weekend even though there was nothing she could do. She called me every day to make sure I wasn't in pain and to give me updates regarding whether the lab was open or when I could come in on Monday morning. This morning I met with the dentist and the periodontist and had a cast taken for a temporary flipper (to be installed on Thursday). We discussed the options that will cost me between $2,000 and $4,000 after insurance based on which course of action I choose. (Rebuilding and crown or extraction and dental implant.) And the procedure will take months.

It won't delay my trip (I don't think) because the months part is healing one part before the next can be done. I'll just have to cycle back through Seattle periodically. But can you imagine what that would have been like if I'd been in Alabama when it happened? (So, what's d'problem, boy? the dentist asked with a gap-toothed smile.) Well, it's a hazard of the road and with luck, no one else is going to see the problem until I get a fix underway.

But at least two months' living expenses on the road, down the drain!