Mad as hell…

I admit it. I’m mad as hell and I’m going to take this anymore.

Hmm. Did I misquote that? Really? If you think you’re not going to take this anymore, think again. You are. I am.

Of course, I’m talking about mass murders, school killings, black on black crime, white supremacists, bought off congressdweebs, and the NRA. We’ve all got a solution, right? We’re all mad as hell that another batch of kids has been cut down in what should have been a place of safety and learning. But frankly, no matter how mad we get, we’re going to take it some more. Each day, I sit and wait for the next mass murder.

Of course, my liberal friends want to ban all guns! Get rid of them. That will end this. They forget that effectively banning all guns would not require a law, but a rule of martial law. Yep, the very thing that gun-owners are so paranoid about that they need their guns to defend us all against.

My conservative friends want to arm the teachers, not for a moment considering the fact that means they want to conscript teachers into an armed militia, against their will, and force them to stand between students and armed intruders where volunteers have refused to stand.

I have to say that if Mr. Hess had been carrying around a .44 magnum in 6th grade math class instead of that damned big paddle, we’d have had fewer people in our graduating class. Maybe not. I’m not sure anyone he hit with that board ever graduated.

Now I’ll spit out the standard conservative drivel that the problem isn’t guns.

Of course not, say my liberal friends, it’s gun-owners.

Both are wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

This has nothing to do with rights, first, second, or fifth amendment. The problem is not gun control, it’s gun culture. Like the oft-touted American rape culture, gun culture is all-American. We want something, we kill to get it. Our rhetoric, our sports chants, our sales presentations, our corporate board rooms are filled with ‘Kill, kill, kill.’

The Pilgrims arrived at Plymouth in November 1620. In March 1623, my unmourned ancestor Myles Standish, invited two chiefs and their families to dinner and killed them all. Our first all-American mass murder. We kill to take whatever it is we want. It’s the American way.

We live in a Harry Potter world. Only instead of magic wands, we have magic guns. We have the same divisions of evil wizards battling good student witches in America today as in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Only instead of battling each other with magic wands we battle with magic guns.

There were three unforgivable curses in HP’s world. Avada Kedavra, (the killing curse), Crucio (excruciating pain curse), and Imperio (taking control of another person curse). I can’t remember how many times Voldemort hurled Avada Kedavra at Harry and missed. But the heroes (students) won the war and not once used one of the three unforgivable curses.

We don’t have that choice. Our magic guns only have one spell. Avada Kedavra! You’re dead. We only have one curse in our bag of magic tricks. If you pick up a magic gun, there is only one outcome. Death. It’s the American way. Kill for what you want.

So, if you are upset about school killings, about gun control, about bought off legislators, about whatever cause du jour you espouse, good for you! Just understand, you are going to take it some more. You’re going to be sitting in the same fucking chair tomorrow when another (probably white male) executioner attacks a school, mall, or concert. And you’ll still be sitting on your ass, mad as hell, the next time. And the next time. And the next time. And the next time.

It’s the American way. It’s our cultural heritage. If you want something, kill. If you’re angry, kill. If you’re afraid, kill. If you want someone to believe your religion, kill. If you’ve got pimples, bad breath, hurt feelings, or a two-inch dick, kill. Get yourself a magic gun and practice the unforgivable curse.

Avada Kedavra! You’re dead.

It’s not about gun control. It’s about the American way.