Zombie Flies

We all thought it would be a zombie apocalypse and there’s been some disappointment that the apocalypse we got is short on imagination. Well, I’m telling you that the zombie apocalypse has also begun.

Let me first tell you I’ve been invaded. The creatures we all blame for spreading filth and disease has found a way into my trailer, even with all the doors and windows sealed shut and the air conditioner running. The flies are thick as presidential tweets.

My flyswatter is in sad condition.

It is battle-worn and weary. It has nearly a thousand confirmed kills. The bodies are thick on the floor of my trailer.

But still they keep coming. I suspect the dead ones are coming back as zombies!

For evidence, I hit a fly squarely and watched it drop to join its brethren on the floor. Then, an hour later, a fly crawled onto my desk. I don’t know how it got there, but it didn’t fly. And in the distracted, stiff, lurching manner of a zombie, it approached me. I screamed, “I killed you once! Why don’t you just die?” And then I smashed its head with the flyswatter again because we all know you have to smash their heads in order to kill the zombies.

No. I don’t miss people contact at all! Quarantine is fine! No change for me, really.

I started putting away my latest shipment of cigars and needed to use a couple of cylindrical humidors I hadn’t touched since last summer. Imagine my surprise to find they all had cigars in them. Not full, mind you, but there were three humidors with cigars in them that I’d completely forgotten. Probably enough cigars now to last until fall since I don’t feel like sitting outside to smoke in this weather.

The weather in Idaho is looking better to me every day and I’m hoping to be there by Memorial Day.

I’ve paid for a place here in Pharr TX until May 23, but if it looks clear for travel, I’ll be heading north by the 16^th. I plan to cover the distance with minimal stops and use of the dreaded Interstate. I’ll shoot up 25 all the way to 90 and then down to Sun Meadow from Coeur d’Alene. I can’t wait to get home! But I will continue to self-isolate.

My books will soon be available on Bookapy.com. Both mainstream and erotica. The publishing site I use to release free books insists that if I promote there, I have to only promote their purchase site. With well over 30 books in the market now, it will take me a while to get the books released. That doesn’t mean I’ll be dropping Amazon or Barnes & Noble, but I’ll have yet another site to manage releases on.

The quickest way to avoid the confusion is to join me on Patreon at www.patreon.com/nathaneverett. My patrons of $5/month or more receive advance release copies of all my new books from either Devon Layne or Nathan Everett and have access to even more for free online reading.

I hope you’ll join me there!