I admit, there is something sort of compelling to see how
any random series of events could possible be connected in order to result in
another unrelated outcome. I’m a writer. I deal in plots.
But first, here’s something completely different:
I was entirely in the third column with the work that just
finished posting in serial form today. 150,000 downloads and a score >8.0,
and a new one-month sales record for me. But with over 100 comments on the
story, many were about how I’d mis-titled The Assassin.
The blurb is this:
A non-canon story in the Swarm Cycle universe. Passing
familiarity with that universe would be helpful, but not necessary. This is
character driven sci fi. Having immigrated to a Confederacy planet as a child,
Niall Cho rejects becoming either a sponsor or concubine and joins the
planetary militia on his fourteenth birthday. He rises through the militia and
challenges some of the Confederacy's basic principles and its planetary AI. All
on his way to becoming The Assassin.
Especially, note the last sentence. Now here are the comments.
1. Nearly half way through and
I'm wondering if the title is a misnomer!
2. How long until we find out
the basis for the "Assassin" title?
3. Me too, much longer &
we'll be reading Assassin No More.
4. Thus
far, the only thing in danger
of being assassinated is my desire to keep reading.
5. While
I disagree with the strength of your statement, I agree that the title promises
content that the text has failed to deliver. The closing notes say the final
book has 27 chapters, so it's got to be getting on to assassination real soon
now.
The story has great world building, don't get me wrong; I just feel the title
misrepresents it. We're now 80% of the way through a book called "The
Assassin" and the only deaths were off-screen, and caused by a forest
fire. Like a story titled "Jesus Christ", but is mostly about Joseph
of Nazareth's carpentry apprenticeship.
And this reader who was exceptionally helpful in suggesting
alternate titles.
6. I
know and understand what you're saying about the last few chapters; and did
when I wrote that the title is misleading. "The Assassin" implies a
story about an assassin; someone who kills politically important persons for
money or for ideological reasons. So far we have 22 chapters about a boy who
grows up to be a capable military leader and administrator; who despite intense
dislike or hatred of other people, has shown no tendency to violence. Knowing
_how_ to kill doesn't make one a killer; almost every human knows at least one
way to kill another human.
Better title options:
"The Assassination" - allows for this long lead up, as you pointed
out, with the historical reasons why the assassination happened; the lead up
being context for the event itself.
"The First Assassination" - as above, but with foreshadowing a
continuation of hostilities vs. Darjee AIs.
"The Administrator Assassin" - some wordplay here: we have lots about
an administrator who we think may also become an assassin; but also the
assassin is a killer of (bad) administrators.
Alternatively, any title that suggests the making of an assassin, rather than a
story about one.
Again, I have no quibble with the content of the story; I expected a lot of
world-building after reading previous stories by this author. That doesn't
change the issue that the title and the story don't align well.
I finally responded in the best humor I could muster:
Having read the comments, I understand. Apparently, I should
have included the last line of the description in the title: "All on his
way to becoming The Assassin." But I'm not alone in having this problem.
This article by historical, science, and military writer Michael Wright shows
that writers far better than this one also have the problem of poorly titled
books. https://mjwrightnz.wordpress.com/2021/05/22/when-the-title-doesnt-match-the-content-a-cautionary-writing-tale/
That article is worth reading, even though Wright blames his
publisher for the poor title and not himself.
Ah, well. Man vs. Author. Now, where was I?
Oh, yes. Conspiracy theories. The problem.
Mind maps, like the one constructed above can and do help in the
solving of real-world crimes. They require the massive processor of a genius
human mind to make sense of them. They are supposed to reveal what the
investigator is thinking.
Unfortunately, they make lousy book plots. A genuine conspiracy
must have as few people as possible privy to it. “A dashing young ne’er-do-well
conspires with the beautiful lust-interest to do away with her wealthy old
husband and take his money with them to a remote Pacific Island.” That would
fly as a conspiracy theory. The more people involved in the conspiracy, the
less viable it is. I daresay that a conspiracy with a dozen or more parties
involved will fall apart before it is launched. I might reduce that number as
far as four.
The first problem is coordination. The more arms the creature
has, the more energy it takes to get them moving in the same direction at the
same time. There can only be one brain connecting the pieces together or they
will fall apart.
The second problem is secrecy. They say a secret can be kept
between two people if one is dead. Who are ‘they?’ You know. Them. Everybody
knows. And that is the problem. Once everybody knows, it’s no longer a secret
and no longer a conspiracy.
Ray Bolger as Scarecrow in The Wizard of Oz.
The third problem is that it takes someone really, really smart
to develop a conspiracy and hold it together. You can’t have someone who is
acknowledged as stupid be the brains behind a conspiracy. It can’t work both
ways. Which also means that if you can figure it out and don’t understand why
“everybody can’t see this,” it’s probably because the conspiracy wasn’t there
in the first place.
I love it when a character takes control of a story and
introduces something I hadn’t thought of before. But when I plot a story, I
know the direction and the outcome. A character might introduce an obstacle or
become a flaw, but that’s what the writing process is all about. You overcome
obstacles and remove flaws.
Writing a book? Here are a couple of suggestions.
1)
Simplify the plot. It’s fine to have subplots
and side adventures, but the plot has to move from point A to point B.
2)
Don’t write characters who are smarter than you
are. Believe me, I’ve tried. No matter how much I tell people this character or
that character is brilliant and a genius, ultimately, I have to show it and I
can’t show it if I’m not as smart as he is. The English teacher needs to use
proper English with good punctuation and spelling. The mathematical wizard
needs to know that 1+1=2 and that dividing a number by 0 does not equal
infinity.
3)
Recognize that other characters, other themes,
other events are distractions, not part of the plot. They are things that
happen in the everyday world. They may be good distractions that effectively
delay the revealing of the crux, or bad distractions that confuse people so
much they can’t get the point.
4)
The prize has to be worth the effort. Most
elaborate conspiracies fall apart because it just isn’t worth it—to all
the conspirators—to pursue it.
5)
Occam’s Razor applies. The simplest solution is
usually the right one. If we have a choice between a drunk getting behind the
wheel and running another car off the road or aliens shining a bright light on
the highway and the driver lost control, it’s most likely there was a drunk
involved.
And that brings me to my newest release. May 25, I put the
Devon Layne book, Team Manager: Swish! on sale. This is the tale of a
runty nearsighted geek, the abused kid in his class, who becomes the manager of
the girls’ basketball team and finds acceptance, friendship, courage, and love.
That’s it in a nutshell but, of course, it’s a long and arduous road to reach
that goal. Winning the love of the girls on the team is simple compared to
overcoming the odds against him staying alive long enough to know.
It's set a personal sales record for me with nearly 250 sales in the first five days. For a while it was in the top 400 of Amazon Kindle's Romantic Erotica books.
Even if you aren’t into coming of age stories that involve
improbable harems and sexual relations, you can support me by joining my
patrons at either:
Devon Layne: www.patreon.com/aroslav
Nathan Everett: www.patreon.com/nathaneverett
Enjoy!
